


Wrong Apartment

by Avangee



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Crack Fic, Drinking, Fuckboy!Tyler, Hangover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 23:37:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10604670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avangee/pseuds/Avangee
Summary: Drunk as fuck Gerard accidentally climbs into the apartment of a fetus instead of his own, and well the fetus is fucking cute and legal. What else would he fucking do?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I made a fic generator thing and it gave me Gerard x Tyler with Ray doing something in it, enjoy this shit.

Little advice for any kids out there who might be hearing this, always, always, always know which apartment window is yours when you're drunk as fuck and scaling the fucking building to get  home. Gerard knew that he should've taken Ray's offer to drive him home, but fuck it, he wanted to walk. Maybe he was hoping he'd get hit by a car or something, he doesn't fucking know. It was three fucking degrees outside, Gerard was kind of sobering up and that cold was hitting him, hard. He thought he had his keys, absolutely fucking wrong. Who would just have their fucking keys whenever they need them? Fuck. The logical option would be to just press the buzzer for everyone in the building until he annoyed someone enough for them to let him in he the building, but no. Of course not, because his anxiety just fucking had to come out and fuck with his brain. 

Anxiety fucking sucks. It sucks enough for it to convince Gerard that yes, climbing six stories of balconies instead of speaking to people is a great fucking idea. Drunk as hell and freezing his fucking tits off, he started the climb to what he thought was his apartment balcony. Key word being thought. 

He knocked on the locked glass doors, hoping Mikey was awake and willing to let his drunk brother into their apartment. The lights turned on and Gerard knocked again, expecting Mikey to tell him to piss of before eventually letting him in. What he didn't expect though, was a tired stranger who looked like a tiny fetus. Definitely not Mikey. Shit. 

"The heck, man?" the fetus spoke, his voice sounded like he was seventeen and Gerard was highly embarrassed. Well, as embarrassed as he could be with three bottles of vodka in him.

"Shit, kid, thought this was my apartment, sorry," that's what was supposed to come out of Gerard's mouth, instead he said some slurred words and giggles. 

"Whatever man, come in. You're not a serial killer right? Eh, doesn't matter." 

Gerard laughed at the fetus, is he suicidal too? Not that Gerard is suicidal (anymore), just he didn't expect that of this kid seeing as how he looked like the perfect human being. Or maybe the fetus said it doesn't matter if he was a serial killer because Gerard is way too drunk to actual do any harm. Or maybe the fetus is a serial killer and can kill Gerard in half a second. He might have found out the answer if he didn't pass out on the fetus right after he walked into the apartment. 

And why the fuck is it so fucking bright, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck. Gerard's entire fucking eyeball is on fucking fire. Fuck shit damnit! Why the fucking fuck did Mikey fuckin Way, Gerard's loving fucking brother, put the fucking hot ass fucking sun inside their apartment. Fucking hell.

"Hey, dude you good?" an annoying fucking noise fucking screamed inside Gerard's god damn head. 

"Quiet, fuck. Be quiet, please. Mikey, why don't you love me?" Gerard grumbled, he will always be a fucking sass queen, even when he's hungover as fucking fuck and is fucking dying. 

"Mikey your boyfriend?" Holy-shit-not-fucking-mikey-and-fucking-ew said, the shock letting Gerard temporarily forget he is fucking dying in the fucking sun. Why the fuck did he drink so fucking much, fuck. Also, holy fucking fuck, ew. Ew. Ew. Gross. Not- Mikey thinks Gerard's dating his brother. Fucking no. 

"What the ever living fuck? No. No. Fucking no. I am not dating my fucking brother. Fucking close the window you fucking child, I. Am. Dying." 

The child closed the open fucking window, thank fuck. Now Gerard was only wishing for death a lot instead a fuck ton. So, how did he get into the child's apartment? Obviously Gerard remembers. Kind of. He remembers a vague amount of exercise and a fetus, and that's about it. Why the fuck did Ray let him drink so much, the fucking afro man? The least he could do was make sure Gerard didn't fucking die in a stranger who could very well be a serial killer's apartment. But the kid looks like he's sixteen! Why the fuck is Gerard is a teenager's fucking home? Oh yeah, because Ray fucking Toro let him get shit-faced and didn't take him home. Fucking Ray, why does he always have to do what Gerard yells at him to do? Fucking sucks. 

"So, guy," the child spoke, his voice like the thousand screams of Gerard's poor, dying head, "First off, who are you? How did you climb into my balcony? Are you single? How did you get so drunk? And how are you so hot?" 

That is flirting. A child is flirting with a very hungover and dying Gerard. What the fuck did he do last night? 

"Did we fuck last night? Because you seem nice and all but aren't you like fifteen? Also hi, I'm Gerard and I'm fucking dying. Be quieter, please," the apparently "so hot" 39 year old whispered out, because even his own voice is killing him. How the fuck as he gone about life with such an annoying fucking voice? 

"Alright, damn. Do you fuck guys often? If so can you fuck me often? And I'm twenty two, Gerard," the child who might be lying about his age because he looks fourteen, replied thankfully quieter. Unthankfully, though, was this is fucking flirting. A thirteen year old is flirting with 39 year old Gerard, and damn was he good at it, but he's like twelve and that's weird. 

"Liar," Gerard choked out, " You're definitely not legal." 

The eleven year old looked at Gerard, smirking sexily, and said " Aw, thanks baby but I've got my ID, right here-" he threw a plastic card on the space right in front of Gerard and it indeed said that this ten year old was in fact 22 "- So you can fuck me anytime."

The child winked, this is absolutely flirting and Gerard is panicking because what would anyone else do when a 22 year old -who, alright, looked his age- was flirting with them while they were dying of a hangover? 

"Water," Gerard, again, croaked because he is flustered and fucking dying, alright. 

"You're thirsty? Of course you are, I'll bring you some water, unless you want some other fluid?" the young person winked a-motherfucking-again.

"No thanks, just water please, child I don't know the name of," Gerard accurately declined whatever this fuck boy was implying. 

"It's Tyler, but you can call me baby boy." 

This child needs to stop fucking winking at Gerard, how the fuck did Tyler even know that Gerard had a daddy kink? If this child continues on with that talk, Gerard will get turned on. Or he will pass out, because he is so hungover that he will pass out. 

That he did, Gerard fucking passed the fuck out before Tyler even got back from his kitchen. Honestly, if he passes out this much he should go to a fucking doctor, and then he remembers that he drank a lot of fucking alcohol the night before and decides against bringing up his drunken fainting to any doctor.

Twelve and a half hours later, Tyler got fucked by a only slightly hungover Gerard and twelve days later they fucked again, and then they went on a date. And because the author is so lazy and tired, she has decided against writing smut and the date, so this is the end. So long and goodnight.


End file.
